After much research, and soul searching, I have come to a very difficult decision. I’m going to get fat this time around. Very very fat. Like Kate Hudson preggo fat. Possibly even Salma Hayek preggo fat. My best frenemy Jennie has packed on at least 20 lbs and everyone is always fetching her things and cooing at her and I just cannot take it anymore. It’s so wrong because a lot of that weight is in her face and feet and she looks like shit. I mean, maybe her cankles are always all swelled up like that? Or maybe she’s having a hard time laying off the pickles. Whatever. I’m going to keep it all pretty fat. Which is why I ordered up one of these.
I told Dr B. my plan and he seemed ok with it, as long as I’m happy and continue to see Dr. Hottie for my regular check ups. It’s just that I’m getting kind of tired of people asking me why I still fit into my size zeroes at almost 4m (it’s called Willpower, stupid losers!) and I want everyone to be way jealous when I am back into the zeroes ten minutes after I have this beautiful baby surgically extracted 3 weeks early before we both get too big and fat to move.
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