I’m still surprised you haven’t called me Nads (LOL - I hope you don’t mind! I already feel like you and me are pals!). Love love love the site. We have so much in common!
1. We are both moms of multiples. Ok, mine are going to be fauxtiples, but who’s counting right? Even your doctors couldn’t keep track of how many pups you had in your basket. The point is that we know how to accessorize, right?!
2. We both are obviously VERY concerned about our looks, and know how to put mommy first and take care of ourselves. You didn’t give up your hair dye just cause you were carrying a litter did you? I get it. I’m the same way! There is no way I am gonna give up my highlights. I figure it just gives this kid a better chance at being blond! I am way way wayyyy impressed by the me-time you took to get your acrylics done and your lips replumped after you had the octopuppies.
4. We both live in the OC and hang out with the $$$ Docs. Honestly Nads, I am surprised you haven’t snagged one of your own yet. Maybe I could fix you up with Dr B’s partner Dr Hottie? He loves doing charity work and is great with kids! I think you would be so much better for him than my step daughter Crystal. When she delivers a litter it is actual puppies. Ew. Plus, she has facial hair.
5. Every time my friends refer to you as “Octopussy”, I tell them to ease up on the harshmallows! See, I already have your back, sister!
It is only a matter of time till our paths cross Nads. We’ll have the bestest time shopping for matching stuff at South Coast and Fashion Island!
I know you said you want to breast feed all eight of those babies but I think that is absolutely crazy. How are we going to get our mystic tans and do lunch at French 75 when you are playing smoothie machine all day long? When will be have time to schedule your photoshoots? Do you really want to make yourself a sacrificial cow like that, honey? Seriously? Why would you want to do that when you could just call Salma Hayek? She is so desperate to lose her baby weight and get some press that she is feeding random babies in Africa. Talk about one upping Angelina!
Which brings me to the difficult part of my post to you Nads. Word on the street is that you are creeping actual Angelina out with your homage to her look. Isn’t it time for to work on your own special octomom style? It’s gonna take some help from Dr. B. but you don’t have to be scared. I will be there by your side and will bring you diet pills and tabloids and get Lupita to change your bandages like she did for me the first time I had my eyes done. Your PR peeps have already announced that you are getting death threats and have been forced to “go into hiding”. It’s perfect timing to reinvent yourself!
Those babies are going to be in the hospital for at least another month Nads! Babies in hospital with nurse nannies = free time! You gotta strike while the paypal donations are flowing iron is hot. Call me. Dr B. is the best the Southland has to offer.
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allison 03.01.09 at 8:40 am
*snort* Octopuppies! I’m dying a little inside.