I’m just so worried about Pucci. She’s not herself. I bought her this cute little sweater and a new bag and it barely even perked her up. I think I know what’s wrong with her too. I think she was gang raped.
It’s that stupid Labrador gang. Honestly I don’t understand what anyone sees in that breed. Large, smelly, and they shed all over your clothes… Gross! Personally I don’t see the point in having a pet that you cannot accessorize with but apparently these track and field types can’t get enough of the brutes. They’re super dangerous too. I heard that they can rip off your arm with no provocation. Poor people use them in dogfights.Seriously, I don’t mean to discriminate, but these Labs are taking over our neighborhood. But at least it’s not the big black ones. It’s mostly the light colored ones.
I get that people want tough dogs but YAWN!? You know.. nobody makes cute sweaters for Labs. They’d have to be all plus sized. And those stupid labs are such spazzes, they probably couldn’t even walk in cute booties. I bet if someone gave them a jeweled collar they’d just lose it. Not like Pucci. She may be a bitch, but she’s my bitch!
But something terrible has happened. Last week Pucci got out when Lupita was doing the morning hose down of the front walkway, and before Lupita could catch her, Pucci was being chased by a gang of those nasty drooling beasts. Quatro Perros, Lupita said. However many labs that is I bet it’s enough shedded hair to make ten sweaters for Pucci. She ran after them for almost Dos Horas. That’s like four hrs!
By the time Lupita caught and brought Pucci home, my poor puppy could hardly walk. Her hair was a mess, her bow was torn out and her nails were a mess! She lost a rhinestone from her beautiful collar.
I took her to the vet and asked if they could do a rape kit on her but apparently they don’t keep that thing around. The vet just told me bring her back in a few days for a pregnancy test. Can you imagine?!
I swear to the Lord if one of those beasts got my Pucci pregnant, I’m gonna kick some Lab a**! She’s not gonna get all fat and be any doggie’s puppy mama!
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